End log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log September 10th
Well Computer, remember my complaining from yesterday? It seems some higher being has picked up on it. Or did you betray my trust?
Anyway, today, as I was working on some plasma conduits in engineering, I suddenly heard the comm channel:

"Janeway to Ms. Stedman."

Janeway? As in Captain Janeway? Needless to say I was surprised. During my whole five years on Voyager I have never even talked to her. I see her sometimes in engineering, or in the hallways. But that's about as close as the Captain and I ever got. I take my orders from people who take their orders from people who take their orders from the Captain. What could she possibly want from me?

"Stedman here."

"Please report to my readyroom."

"On my way, Captain. Stedman out."

I practically ran to deck 1. I was very anxious to find out to what I owed this unexpected pleasure of being invited to the Captain's readyroom. I had never seen it before.
It is a nice big bright room with two levels, and big windows, and a desk with a Captain behind it.

"Crewman, come in, have a seat."

"Yes, Captain."

Her voice sounded very pleasant and friendly. Apparently I was not here because I had done something wrong.

"Crewman, I was going through the personnel assignments and two things came to my attention: One, you have been assigned to chamber maintenance for the past five years and two, I have never met you. It's about time something changed, don't you think?"

She leaned forward with her arms crossed on the desk and said "Tell me, how did you even end up here? "

She actually seemed genuinely interested.

"By accident, Captain. I was assigned to Voyager for one flight as part of my internship on Deep Space Nine. It was a summer job, to earn credit for my next year at the Academy."

"Are you happy here, on this ship, Ms. Stedman?"

"Permission to speak freely, Captain."

"Granted" A nod, a smile. The Captain is really quite enthralling.

"I am bored and I am lonely. I realize that I am the lowest ranked person on this ship. I have no qualifications, no experience. I understand why all I can do is chamber maintenance. I do not expect anything more. But it hasn't been very challenging. To say the least."

The Captain did not respond right away. She just looked at me, as if she was trying to see inside my brain. Under normal circumstances this would have made me feel uncomfortable, but these weren't normal circumstances. I was talking to, as I started to realize, not only the Captain, but an entirely captivating woman. I dare say she is the most beautiful person on this ship. She could look at me as much as she damn well pleased. Finally, she spoke.

"What were you planning to major in?"

"Astrometrics."

"Interesting. A bold choice. And what do you do in your spare time, Ms. Stedman?"

"I read. I talk to the computer a lot. To be honest, it has been my best friend here. I stare at the stars. I eat. I sleep. That's about it."

"Don't you ever spend time on the holodeck?"

Was she kidding?

"With my lack of rank, Captain, I have noticed that it is never quite my "turn" for the holodeck."

I had given up on signing up for the holodeck three years ago.

"Doesn't anyone ever invite you during their holodeck time?"

As if.

"I don't have any real friends here, Captain. At the Academy I was among equals. Here, well... I'm not."

Tears welled up behind my eyes. I'm just such a sobber. I tried my best not to let her notice. I could hardly tell her everybody avoided me like the plague. I wasn't here to snitch.

"I see."

Silence. I guess she was thinking. It gave me some time to observe her. Computer, I gotta tell ya, I have seldom seen a more beautiful woman. She is just captivating.
I watched her as she got up and walked to the window.

"Do you play any sports, Ms. Stedman? Raquetball, velocity, tennis?"

"Eh, no. Sports have never really interested me. To be in a physical competition with somebody is just not my thing."

"Spoken like a true scientist," the Captain laughed. "Don't worry, Ms. Stedman, we all feel lonely sometimes. As a captain, I find myself outranked as well, although be it in the opposite direction. I do believe I understand how you feel."

She turned and looked at me.

"I'll make sure you get something more interesting to do. And some time on the holodeck. Captain's promise! Dismissed."

Another smile, another friendly nod. The friendliest I have seen in five years. I think I will dream about it tonight, Computer.

End log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, September 30th
New crew assignments tomorrow computer, I am very excited.

End Log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, October 1st
Computer, computer, I hardly know where to begin. It seems the Captain has come through on her promise. Big Time.
This morning, at 10:00 hours, Ensign Mulchaey came in with the new crew assignments.

"Ensign McCafferty, chamber maintenance." Everybody looked surprised, except Ensign McCafferty, who looked at me like he was going to kill me.

"Crewman Stedman."

Silence. He stared at the PADD like it was snowing in Africa. He cleared his throat.

"Astrometrics."

Astrometrics??? I smiled so broadly, it cracked my face open like the Grand Canyon.

"Don't look so happy, Erin, I'm sure it's some sort of mistake." McCafferty hissed in my ear.

Oh no, no mistake. Just a very extremely great Captain.

The rest of the day was a nightmare of course. Now they all really hate me. But I don't care. I'm so happy I could scream. Tomorrow is my first day in astrometrics. My first duty shift with Seven of Nine, whom I have never even met. Rumour has it she's brilliant. Goodnight, Computer.

End log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, October 2nd
Well, today has been interesting to say the least. My first day with Seven of Nine. It's hard to describe her, she is an amazing person. Definitely the most intelligent being I have ever met. And gorgeous! They say beauty and brains don't mix, well on her they certainly do. She has the perfect figure and a pair of luscious lips, well, I could just go on and on. There's not a single molecule out of place on that body.
Wondering why she is still single? Well, first of all, she talks like a computer. She reminds me of Lt. Commander Data, the android that serves on the Enterprise. I met him once when he was doing a poetry reading at the Academy.
And she's brutally honest. I mean, brutally. I don't think any guy on this ship would be able to handle it. In fact, I'm sure of it.
And for some reason, she is incredibly naïve. I think it has something to do with her being a former Borg drone. I'm not sure, I'll ask her one day.

Anyway, she didn't seem to thrilled to be stuck with me. It's quite clear she doesn't need me in there. But the Captain instructed her to educate me and she seems to do everything the Captain says.
Apparently, the Captain seems to think it would benefit the both of us, evidently Seven hasn't made too many friends on this ship either.

I think we'll be okay. Given time.

End log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, October 9th
The Captain came into Astrometrics today. Asked how I was doing. I told her how happy I am with my new position. Seven said "with her limited experience and lack of knowledge, she is making a remarkable progress." According to the Captain that is "a major compliment coming from Seven."
Once again I noticed how pretty the Captain is. Even compared to Seven of Nine who is quite a knock out herself. She is just so... petite and fragile looking, yet strong and forthright. God, I sound like I have a crush on her don't I? Maybe I do... I'll think about that.

End log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, October 10th
Computer, remember what I said about having a crush on the Captain? I gave it some thought and well I believe I do. Have a crush on her that is. It's kind of silly though, isn't it? I mean, she is the Captain and everything. It's just that I don't think I have ever met a more fascinating person. And she is so gorgeous. One wonders how it is even possible. I had a dream last night, or call it a fantasy, I don't think I was fully asleep. Anyway, I was like her best friend and it was so great and I was so in love, well, you get the picture. Maybe I'll be able to get to know her a little better, at least she is aware of my existence.

Sorry for rambling.

End log.

Erin Stedman, October 11th
Computer, delete yesterday's entry. It's just so silly. I'd be embarrassed if anyone read it.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, October 18th
Computer! I just found a card on my bed. An actual card! It's got a rose on it and it reads "Holodeck II, 19.00 hours tonight."
Can you believe it? Well, of course you can, I'm sure the Captain used you to break in to my room. But what does it mean? I don't know what to wear. It's got a rose on it, Computer. Do you think the Captain set me up for a blind date? This is all very exciting.
I guess I'll just throw in my replicator privileges for the next four weeks and get myself a dress.

Computer, a black dress, short sleeves, long skirt with a rim until half way up the thigh. Size six. Whee! Thank you, that looks great! Let's try it on. Don't look now, Computer, I'm getting naked.

Part of me is secretly hoping the Captain will be part of tonight, as well. Although she probably just set me up with somebody. Who do you think would want to spend a night with me, Computer? I wonder what she had to bribe this guy with.
I guess I'll tell you all about it later, hey?

End log.

Computer, I forgot I need some shoes too. Black pumps, size 8.

Personal log supplemental
Oh my god! You are not going to believe this! I walked onto the Holodeck and it was like a dream come true. A beautiful room, a table set for two, a single red rose in the middle of it. It was definitely a blind date, thank goodness I got myself that dress.
There was nobody else there at first, giving me some time to look around. The window was open, a cool breeze coming in. I faintly heard the sound of waves hitting the shore. Whoever arranged this went all out. Suddenly I heard a voice. I knew that voice.

"Erin, good evening. You look beautiful."

By god, she came herself.

I turned around to see the Captain and it was like a brick wall slammed in my chest. I just stood there, gasping. She was wearing a red velvet dress with a short skirt, black suede shoes and her hair hanging loose on her shoulders. She was absolutely stunning. Did she dress up like that for me? What was going on here?

"Why don't you sit down. Would you like some wine?"

Somehow I managed to work my way over to the table and sat down. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, Computer. She was so gorgeous.

"Thank you, Captain." A squeaky, raspy voice came out of my mouth, probably because I hadn't taken a breath for the past five minutes.

"Kathryn, please."

"Kathryn."

Just saying that name lifted me to a higher level. I was on cloud nine, Computer. I could have sworn I was dreaming. There she was smiling at me, this could not possibly be real.

"I promised you some Holodeck time and I thought I would take the opportunity to get to know you a little better," she said. "I hope you don't mind."

Mind? How could I possibly mind? I smiled at her sheepishly. I wanted to be ravishing and charming and witty, but all I could muster was a smile.

There was food. I couldn't tell you what it was if you put a gun to my head. I don't think I touched it at all. I was just too captivated by the Captain.

I wanted to say something, start a conversation, but she beat me to it:

"Erin, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course."

"Have you ever blamed me for getting lost in the Delta Quadrant?"

What? Blamed her?

"No, I never blamed you for anything. I mean, I can't say I'm happy about being here. I wish I was back on Earth, I wish I could have finished the Academy and get a real job. But I know I couldn't have lived with the knowledge that an entire race might have gotten killed just so we could get home a little faster. I don't think anyone on this ship could. We all know in our hearts you made the right decision."

She looked so relieved. This couldn't honestly have been bothering her, could it?

"Thank you, Erin, it means a lot to me to hear you say that. Of all the people on this ship, you seem to be the worst of in this situation. Your opinion in this matter is very important to me."

Was that a sparkle in her eye, or just my imagination getting the better of me?

We talked for what seemed hours, although it went by very fast. She told me about her life, her career, how difficult it had been for her living with the fact she got us all lost here.

She really opened up to me, Computer, and I did the same. We connected. It was amazing. I have never met such a fascinating person.

She told me how her fiancée had found somebody else during her absence.

"Being a captain really leaves little room to deal with personal feelings. Although I carry the pain of losing him, not once but twice, with me every day." she said.

Poor Kathryn, my heart was just bleeding for her. In fact, I couldn't stop the tears that were streaming down my face.

She looked at me, slightly puzzled.

"I am human, but I was raised by a Vulcan couple after my parents were killed in a shuttlecraft accident. They have taught me how to use my brain at peak efficiency, but they couldn't teach me how to control my emotions. I'm afraid I'm not very good at it." I said to explain the tears.

"I am sorry for your loss, Kathryn."

She smiled another lovely smile at me as she handed me a handkerchief.

"Care to take a little stroll?" she asked as I was wiping the tears from my face.

I nodded. She took my hand (SHE TOOK MY HAND!) and led me through the bay doors outside. I noticed there was a beach there. The temperature was chilly, but still comfortable. There was a full moon shining on the sand. Kathryn kicked off her shoes and stepped off the deck. I followed her example.
The soft, warm touch of her hand almost killed me. I didn't think I was ever going to be able to breathe again. Let alone walk on a beach. But as luck had it, I managed.
So there we were walking along the shoreline, hand in hand. We didn't talk. All the Captain said was "This is very nice." and smiled at me. I was unable to respond. I just couldn't instruct my brain to form any words. So I just smiled back. As lovingly as I possibly could.

Clearly, this was too perfect. This had to end somehow. And it did.

"Tuvok to the Captain, we need you on the bridge urgently."

"On my way."

She turned to me and looked me in the eye. My legs turned to jelly.

"I am sorry to have to cut this short. Please feel free to stay as long as you want to, the holodeck has been reserved for the rest of the evening. I will see you later."

At that, she put her hand on my upper left arm and let it slide down all the way to my hand and gave it a little squeeze. And then she was gone.

My knees finally gave up and I sat down on the sand. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I am SO in love with this woman, I cannot begin to describe it. I don't think I will get much sleep tonight, Computer, I may just talk to you later.

End log.

Personal log supplemental.
Computer, I don't know what to think about all this. My rational mind tells me the Captain was just doing me a favour. Maybe she likes me and is genuinely interested in me, but there can't be much more to it than that. On the other hand, why the romantic scenery? The candlelight, the rose, the hand-holding?
I just don't know computer, I just don't know.

End log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, November 3rd
Apologies for not having talked to you for a while, computer, but my life has been such a rush lately. All I can think about is the Captain. Her smiles, the touch of her hand. My skin is tingling all over. I can't think straight, can't concentrate on anything.
I haven't been much use to Seven in astrometrics. She hasn't said anything, but she is probably a little fed up with me. She's been giving me these glances, like she is trying to figure out what's going on with me, but she hasn't gotten around to actually ask. Maybe I should confide in her, after all, she has been a good friend to me.
I haven't seen the Captain since our "date". There's been some trouble with some species we've run into. I don't exactly what's going on though. I haven't been paying much attention. I hope they leave us alone soon and give the Captain some free time. Maybe she'll ask me out again, one can always hope, no?

Ok, enough of that. Goodnight, Computer.

End log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, November 6th
Good evening, Computer. I have taken my own advice and talked to Seven about my situation. The conversation didn't quite go the way I had expected it to.

"Have you ever been in love, Seven?" I asked her.

She looked at me with that puzzled look of hers, lifting her brow.

"Love. One of those erratic human emotions I don't think I ever care to experience."

"It can be quite disconcerting if you're not sure if you're feelings are reciprocated. Even worse if you know you're feelings aren't reciprocated," I said as a prelude to why I wasn't paying attention lately.

"Please, elaborate" Seven replied with an interested look in her eyes. "The doctor told me it was a wonderful feeling that I should experience one day. I told him I didn't see the purpose. He never mentioned any negative points."

"The doctor? No offense, Seven, but he is a hologram. What does he know about love?"

"His knowledge does appear to be insufficient," Seven replied. "Tell me more about this emotion."

"All of a sudden you will look at a person and notice this person is a hundred times nicer than everybody else, a thousand times more interesting, a million times more attractive. You cannot choose who this person is, or when this feeling occurs. It just kind of happens all of a sudden. Like a chemical reaction or something. That's why it isn't always easy to deal with."

"Elaborate."

"You see, in order for this to become wonderful, this person has to feel the same way about you. And you have to be in such a situation that permits that person and yourself to be together a lot and act upon those feelings. But if the other doesn't know you exits or doesn't think any more highly of you than of any other or if that person is your superior or if there is any other reason why you can't share your feelings with them, then it becomes painful. It eats you from the inside out. And all you can do is wait until the feelings go away out of their own."

"I believe Harry Kim has once experienced such a thing. He did not seem happy."

"I bet he didn't."

"I do not think I wish to experience this."

"You have no choice in the matter, Seven."

She looked at me as if to say "wanna bet?" Then she continued to work and paid no further notice to me. I never got to tell her why I even started the conversation in the first place. Oh well, she's smart. I'm sure she can put two and two together.

Still no sign of the Captain. But I think of her constantly. I think of her silken skin and try to imagine what it would feel like to touch it. I think of her auburn hair and try to imagine what it would feel like to rake my hands through it. My blood is racing though my veins, I'm on so much adrenaline these days. I'm rambling, Computer. I'm a woman in love, please forgive me.

End log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, November 11th
Hooray, the Captain came into Astrometrics today. She wanted some charts from Seven. At first she didn't seem to notice me, but then, she turned to face me and winked! I felt my face turn bright red, my knees turn to jelly. She turned around again and left, but that wink is burnt on my retina. Forever.

Later that day, Seven asked my why I became so tense when the Captain came in. Oh, that girl just notices everything. I blabbermouthed something about not being used to working directly under the Captain, and being a little nervous about doing the right thing. Or something. I don't think she believed me anyway.

Computer, I'm just being so silly about all this. The Captain is not interested in me, who am I trying to fool? I just wish I could just be her friend or something, you know? I want so much for her to be happy, I want so much to be a part of that.
Oh my god, you know what I just realized? I never properly thanked her for that Holodeck evening. Or for my promotion for that matter. God, I am so stupid! Now what do I do? I have to do something...
Oh, there's someone at the door.

End log.

Personal Log Supplemental
That was the CAPTAIN that was at the door! She was dressed all casual in black pants and a cream colour shirt.
She wanted to talk to me, she said, and apologize for having neglected me for a while. And she was wondering if I would like to join her on the holodeck.

"Yes, of course," I answered. "I just need to get changed into something more appropriate than my uniform. I'll be right back."

I turned around towards the bathroom to change when something caught my eye.
The other night after the Holodeck dinner I decided to go for another week of Neelix's food and replicated some paper and pencils to draw the Captain as I had just seen her, in her gorgeous red dress. The drawing was still lying there, on my desk, for everyone to see. And of course she saw it.

"Hey, what's this?" she said as she walked over to the desk.

I thought about getting terribly embarrassed, but then I had a stroke of genius.

"It's a drawing I made for you, Captain."

"Kathryn!"

"Kathryn. To thank you for the lovely evening at the holodeck and my promotion to astrometrics."

Oooh, that smile, how much longer am I supposed to withstand that smile.

"Thank you, that is so ... I think this is one of the most personal gifts I have ever gotten. I really appreciate it, Erin."

"And I really appreciate you, Kathryn."

Wow, did I ever save the day. I changed and we went to the holodeck where she had programmed the living room of her house on Earth. It was a very cozy and warm room, fireplace blazing away, nice comfy couch. She had cooked us dinner, and while it wasn't, hmmm, very good, I appreciated the fact that she made it herself and enjoyed it none the less.

After dinner, as we were sipping wine on the couch, I asked her why she had chosen this setting. After all, we could just have been having dinner at her quarters and put the holodeck to some better use. Not that I was complaining, mind you.

"I just wanted to show you a more personal side of me," she said. "More Kathryn Janeway and less Captain."

She patted me on the knee when she said that and we looked at each other. Then she leaned over and gave me a hug.
Needless to say I almost fainted at the touch.

But all good things must come to an end and we both had early duty the next morning. So we said our goodbyes and I went back to my quarters.

The thing is, this looked suspiciously like a date. I don't want to jump the gun here, but there's got to be more to this than a Captain's interest in one of her crewmembers. Don't you think, Computer?

The story doesn't end here, either. At about 3:00 AM the door chimed and Kathryn came in. She couldn't sleep she said. Would it be okay to stay with me for a while?
Of course I had been awake too, reminiscing the hug and her hand on my knee and feeling altogether gooey inside.
She lay herself down next to me on my bed and grabbed my hand. It seemed she wanted to talk about something, but somehow, as soon as were lying there together holding hands, we both found the peace we had been searching for and fell asleep.

And so we spent our first night together. Sleeping and holding hands.

End Log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, November 17th
Tonight, I'm having another date with the Captain. Yes, a date. When she invited me to create a holo program for us, I flat out asked if she and I were dating and she answered "I hope so."
So there, we're dating. I can't say it often enough, I'm just so tickled pink at the whole concept.

Then I had two days to come up with a holo program to end all holo programs. I recreated Paris. Well, not the whole city of course, after all, I only had two days. I went back to the 20th century, before the Louvre was destroyed in a fire. I programmed that lovely garden, known back then as the Tuilleries, in an early fall setting. I got the specifics for the actual museum from a databank, I hope it's accurate. I'm sure it'll have the Mona Lisa and the Venus de Milo if nothing else. I'm secretly hoping Kathryn will be to distracted to truly enjoy the art anyway, if you catch my drift.

So I arranged for a fine French restaurant to serve us some bread and wine and cheese and other French goodies in the garden. I wonder if Kathryn will appreciate La Douce France.

Jusqu' à plus tard.

End Log.

Personal Log Supplemental
Paris was a big success!

Of course me showing up with 50 red tulips in my arms may have had something to do with it as well. Did I mention my replicator rations got mysteriously replenished? Well they did, so I used them again to get the flowers.

We strolled through the museum for a while, then had dinner in the garden. It was all very romantic. We talked about the things we both love. Such as Paris (the city, not the ensign!) and art and nature and puppies and classical music. And her fascination for coffee, which I fail to understand.
Granted, it wasn't as perfect as it would have been in the real Paris, but we both agreed we would go there as soon as possible after our return to Earth. Together.

After dinner, she walked me back to my quarters. When we got to the door, she turned to face me and grabbed my hands.

"Thank you, Erin, for an absolutely wonderful evening."

"You are quite welcome," I answered.

"Will you join me in my quarters tomorrow for dinner?" she then asked.

"With bells on."

She smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

"Until tomorrow."

Rêves doux, Kathryn.

End log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, November 18th
Do you think I should literally show up with bells on, Computer? I'd be worth it just to see the look on her face.

Got to go. Talk to you later.

End Log.

Erin Stedman Personal log, November 19th
The look on Kathryn's face was more than worth searching half the ship for something that resembled bells. Neelix has been most helpful, remind me to properly thank him.
Her quarters are amazingly large. Well, not that amazing, of course she is the Captain, but still they are very large. But somehow less personal than her ready room. I suspect she spends more time in there than here.

She replicated dinner this time, instead of cooking herself. We ate sitting on her couch, listening to soft romantic music and talking about our lives back on Earth.

After eating, we sat close together, staring at the stars outside her big window.

"I miss Earth's constellations" Kathryn said, "they were so familiar to me."

"I know," I answered, "I miss them too."

"What's your favourite?"

"Orion, or Skirt Dude as I like to call it."

"Do you have pet names for all constellations?" she snickered.

"Just the good ones."

Kathryn smiled and placed her head on my shoulder.

"I'm so happy, I could cry" she said and then proceeded into doing so.

"Kathryn," I whispered. I wrapped my right arm around her shoulders and touched her face with my left hand. With my thumb, I wiped a tear from her cheek. I slowly moved my hand down and as I brushed her mouth, her lips parted. She touched my thumb with her tongue and gave it a little bite. I carefully and very slowly moved my face towards her and pressed my lips ever so slightly against hers. At that moment the world stopped existing. There was just me. And her. And our bodies, close together. An indescribable warmth flowed through me as our tongues found each other. I couldn't help but moan when I felt Kathryn's hands stroking my back. I raked my hand through her hair, kissed her cheek, her collarbone, nibbled her earlobe.

"Kathryn, my Kathryn, I love you so much," I whispered in her ear.

"I love you too, sweetheart" she told me. "I loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. I didn't want to rush, I wanted to make perfectly sure that you, that this could... I wanted this moment to be absolutely perfect."

"It is perfect, Kathryn", I said "I couldn't wish for anything more perfect than this."

She got up and led me to her bedroom. We quickly got undressed and slid under the sheets together.

I didn't know where to begin touching this wonderful woman. I couldn't even believe I was lying naked in her bed. We wrapped our arms around each other and kissed, deeply. I felt her tongue exploring my mouth, my teeth. I scratched my nails up and down her back, making my movements gradually longer until they included her buttocks. When I cupped them, Kathryn wrapped her legs between mine and pulled closer. I could feel the heat emanating from between her legs. I slowly moved my hands to the front of her body and started stroking her wonderful, perfect breasts.

Kathryn rolled on her back and pulled me on top of her. I leaned forward so our breasts touched each other. We both groaned and our nipples grew hard. I covered her left nipple with my mouth and rolled my tongue around it. Kathryn arched her back toward me and I rubbed my hands over her breasts while moving my mouth down and nuzzled her perfect flat tummy before moving down in between her legs. I carefully kissed her velvet layers of skin before touching them with the tip of my tongue. I was pleasantly surprised at how wet she had gotten and felt my own arousal intensifying as I moved in deeper with my tongue and entered her. I heard a low groan from deep in Kathryn's throat. I looked up and saw her hands grabbing the sheets of the bed, her knuckles white. I slid my hands under her and cupped her buttocks, granting myself more access to her burning femininity. I licked up her juices and nibbled that wonderful bundle of nerves, flicking it with my tongue.

I could feel Kathryn getting closer to her orgasm, but wouldn't let her have it. Not yet. I kissed my way back up until I reached her mouth. Kathryn had loosened her grip on the sheets and moved her hands over my back, down to my bottom and slid her fingers in between my buttocks. I let out a cry and felt my need become almost unbearable. Her delicate fingers were exploring my tender flesh and I almost climaxed instantaneously when I felt her enter me. But she was merely teasing, as well.

"Together," she whispered as she pushed me upright and entangled her legs with mine so our most intimate spots were rubbing against each other, juices flowing from one body to another. It was altogether too much to take. My body spasmed uncontrollably against hers and I climaxed more profoundly than I could ever remember doing before, intensified even more by Kathryn reaching her peak at the same time.

After that, I could just lie there, heart throbbing in my throat, my body shivering at the mere memory of all that pleasure. I felt Kathryn relaxing beside me.

"I've never done this before," she mumbled

"Done what?"

"This. With a woman, I mean."

"Mmm, so how did you like it?" I asked.

"Greatest thing I've ever done. Although, I do think I need a little more practice."

But before we could elaborate on that, we fell asleep.

I woke up some time later, my arms wrapped around Kathryn's body, her bottom fitting perfectly against my groin, our legs curved in unison. I couldn't help but move one arm towards those wonderful warm breasts and gasped as I felt her nipples harden under my touch. I moved my other hand down toward her center and found her wet and waiting. Without further ado I slid my fingers inside her and brought her to another climax.

She grunted in a satisfied way and led out a deep sigh before tuning around and pinning me to the bed.

"You're going to pay for this" she said with a teasing smirk.

She brought her mouth almost against mine, almost touching, but not quite and all I could feel was her warm breath on my face. She moved around and breathed on my cheek, my eyes, she blew softly in my ear, then continued on, breathed on my cheekbone, my neck, my chest. Not touching me with anything else but her breath.

I must admit I could never have imagined how arousing somebody not touching me could be.

She was softly blowing air on my nipples now, breathing around my breasts and in between. Then slowly worked her way down, blowing hot air in my bellybutton, over my tummy, and there she was, breathing between my legs, carefully placed blows around my center of intimacy. Then she puckered her lips and a hot, sharp stream of air reached my nub, touching it in the most delicate of ways.
Before I knew what was happening, I felt my body tense and spasm, hot flashes of pleasure rippling through me and intensifying until they came to a climax.

"Jesus, Kathryn, where did you learn that?" I asked her, still gasping for air.

"Something I always wanted somebody to do to me," she answered. "Any good?"

"Are you kidding me? I just about died there."

"Perhaps you need take revenge on me?" she asked teasingly.

"I'll keep it in mind" I snickered. "But for now, I think I need some rest."

"Agreed", she said and rested her body next to mine. I grabbed her hand and just like that first night, we slumbered of holding hands.

The following morning I woke up alone in the bed and heard her moving around in the bathroom.

"Kathryn?"

"Erin," she responded, "Come in here, I made you a bath."

It was heaven. I hadn't been in a bathtub for, god I don't know, ages.
Kathryn joined me about two minutes later and we sat across from each other in the bathtub, playing with the bubbles.

"Remind me to promote you," she said.

"Promote me to what?" I asked. "Captain's Little Helper?"

"Something like that," she laughed. "I want you around me 25 hours a day."

"Perhaps I could pretend to be a piece of furniture in your ready room," I offered "But I can't guarantee I won't be a very distracting piece of furniture."

"I might not get much work done then."

"Probably not."

"I guess I'll just have to settle for being jealous of Seven, then," she concluded.

"Don't worry," I said, "Most females on this ship are jealous of Seven."

Kathryn laughed, a deep, throaty, warm, endearing laugh.

It is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

End log.

Erin Stedman Personal Log, January 3rd
Computer, I was just going through some of my previous log entries and realized I haven't talked to you for a while. The truth is, Kathryn took over the role of sounding board and I just don't really need you anymore.
But I feel like I have to tell you how the story ends. I owe you that much.

Kathryn pretty much moved in here, even though her quarters are twice the size of mine and she has that bathtub. She says she feels safer here and there is less risk of us getting caught. I don't know who she is afraid of catching us, I'm sure everybody on the ship knows by now that we are lovers.
The day after our first night together, Seven pointed out I was glowing the way Lt. Torres and Ensign Paris did after they just started dating. She added she noted the same glow on Kathryn that morning in the briefing room. As I am sure did everybody else.

I still work with Seven in astrometrics and even though I will never achieve her level of brilliance, I do feel like I'm of use to her these days. She has taught me well.

Voyager is still quietly spinning home. But I must admit it seems of no importance to me anymore where we end up.
To put it in the words of Seven: "Our destination is irrelevant."

End log.