"Status?" She asked her first officer who was manning the bridge, always being there a little bit earlier than her.

"All systems normal. Nothing note worthy up ahead. Looks like were in for an easy ride." Chakotay answered.

Kathryn smiled at him. "Chakotay, can I see you in my ready room? Tuvok, you have the bridge."

As she entered her ready room, Kathryn said "I'd hate to admit it, Chakotay, but I dare say I'm getting a little bored. Are you sure there's not some anomaly up ahead?"

"Still trying to avoid those crew manifests, aren't you, Kathryn?" Chakotay grinned. "You must admit, it's the perfect time for it."

Kathryn sighed. Yes, she had been avoiding that. It was one of those little jobs she always tried to avoid.

"Ok, fine. I'll look at them right now."

Chakotay went back to the bridge and Kathryn sat down behind her desk. She could already feel a headache coming on. This was not going to be a good day.

Some hours and several pots of coffee later, Kathryn stumbled upon something odd.
Crewman Erin Stedman, her report said, assigned to chamber maintenance. Erin Stedman? Kathryn could not remember ever hearing that name before. She pressed the detail button.

Stedman, Erin.
Rank: None.
Holo Image: Not Available.
Current Assignment: Chamber Maintenance.
Past Assignments: Chamber Maintenance.
Personal Information: Not Available.

Well, Kathryn thought to herself, that doesn't tell me anything.

She pressed her comm badge. "Janeway to Ms. Stedman."

"Stedman here."

"Please report to my ready room."

"On my way, Captain. Stedman out."

I'll just get it straight from the horses mouth. She did not understand why this woman had been doing the same damn thing for five years and she was determined to find out.

Moments later, the computer signaled someone was at the door.

"Come."

Janeway had to blink a couple of times. How could she not have noticed this lovely creature before? Erin Stedman was a gorgeous blonde, tall, slim and damned good looking.

Almost as good looking as a certain Borg we all know and love, right Katie?

"Crewman, come in, have a seat"

"Yes, Captain."

"Crewman, I was going through the personnel assignments and two things came to my attention: One, you have been assigned to chamber maintenance for the past five years and two, I have never met you. It's about time something changed, don't you think?"

Kathryn leaned forward with her arms crossed on the desk and added "Tell me, how did you even end up here?"

She was getting increasingly curious.

"By accident, Captain. I was assigned to Voyager for one flight as part of my internship on Deep Space Nine. It was a summer job, to earn credit for my next year at the Academy."

What are the odds of that, Kathryn wondered. The poor girl must be absolutely miserable here.

"Are you happy here, on this ship, Ms. Stedman?"

"Permission to speak freely, Captain"

"Granted." Kathryn nodded at Erin.

"I am bored and I am lonely. I realize that I am the lowest ranked person on this ship. I have no qualifications, no experience. I understand why all I can do is chamber maintenance. I do not expect anything more. But it hasn't been very challenging. To say the least."

Kathryn stared Erin in the eyes as she was taking in this information. Of course she was bored and lonely. It was a sheer miracle the girl hadn't jumped out of an airlock yet. How could she have been so grossly overlooked? She would have to take this up with Chakotay as soon as possible. And get Erin something more interesting to do.

"What were you planning to major in?" Janeway asked Erin.

"Astrometrics" she answered.

"Interesting. A bold choice. And what do you do in your spare time, Ms. Stedman?"

"I read. I talk to the computer a lot. To be honest, it has been my best friend here. I stare at the stars. I eat. I sleep. That's about it."

That didn't sound like a very exciting life.

"Don't you ever spend time on the Holodeck?" Kathryn asked. She remembered the Doctor had to force her to spend time on the holodeck herself when they first entered the Delta Quadrant, but she had found she was quite enjoying it now, especially her Velocity matches with Seven of Nine.

"With my lack of rank, Captain, I have noticed that it is never quite my "turn" for the Holodeck."

Kathryn hadn't even considered that. Ships protocol might have to be loosened somewhat in certain areas.

"Doesn't anyone ever invite you during their Holodeck time?"

Like you're about to do, Katie?

"I don't have any real friends here, Captain. At the Academy I was among equals. Here, well... I'm not."

Kathryn noticed the girl was having trouble maintaining her composure, she was on the verge of tears. She once again cursed herself for not having noticed this sooner. She would have to have a chat with Chakotay very soon.

"I see." She answered and thought about what to do about this situation right now. Maybe she could convince Seven to double with B'Elanna so she could play Velocity with Erin?
Kathryn got up from behind her desk and walked over to the window. Looking at the streaks of the stars flying by always helped her focus.

"Do you play any sports, Ms. Stedman? Raquetball, velocity, tennis?"

"Eh, no. Sports have never really interested me. To be in a physical competition with somebody is just not my thing."

So much for that idea.

"Spoken like a true scientist" Kathryn laughed. "Don't worry, Ms. Stedman, we all feel lonely sometimes. As a captain, I find myself outranked as well, although be it in the opposite direction. I do believe I understand how you feel."

Kathryn sighed. She turned back to Erin.

"I'll make sure you get something more interesting to do. And some time on the Holodeck. Captain's promise! Dismissed."

As Kathryn watched Erin walk out of the ready room she wondered what trouble she had gotten herself into this time.

"Well Kathryn, I'm glad you chose to replicate tonight's dinner" Chakotay commented after finishing his meal.

"Watch it!" Kathryn bit back and shook her finger at him.

Chakotay smiled. "So to what did I owe this unexpected invitation?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on Kathryn, I've known you for five years. You don't ask me over for dinner unless you want to talk about something."

She sighed. Chakotay knew her all too well.

"Did you know we have a kind of stowaway on Voyager?"

Chakotay thought for a while. "Are you talking about Erin Stedman? Yes, I heard. I've been meaning to get to know her better, but I haven't got around to it yet."

"It's been five years, Chakotay." Janeway commented accusingly. "Which reminds me, I want you to transfer her to astrometrics in the next duty rotation."

"Astrometrics? That's quite a promotion. Are you sure?"

"The girl is long overdue for a promotion. It's what she wants to do, anyway."

"Fine." Chakotay nodded. "So why did you bring her up?"

"I'll be honest. I'm attracted to her. Call it love at first sight, I don't know. But I feel there's a connection and I would like to get to know her better."

"And perhaps explore a romantic relationship?"

"Yes."

"So what do you need me for?"

"I just don't want to mess up again the way I did with Seven of Nine." Kathryn could smack herself for blurting that out. And she had kept the whole incident a secret for so long. Chakotay was staring at her with his mouth open.

"Messed up what with Seven of Nine?"

Kathryn sighed and took a deep breath. "I felt attracted to her, I still do. So one night I asked her to join me for dinner and attempted to find out how she felt."

"Details, Kathryn. Don't you know a story stands or falls with details?"

Kathryn shot him a force ten phaser look. "I'm warning you!"

"Okay, okay, I won't say another thing. Now finish your story."

Kathryn took another breath. "I dressed up and cooked myself, of course she didn't eat anything, saying how she didn't need nutritional supplements, you know the girl. Anyway, I sat there feeling terribly aware of myself and she tells me how she doesn't see the benefit of monogamous relationships.
"I wish to remain open to social situations with a wide variety of individuals." I think were her exact words.
Then she tells me that, while I was on an away mission to the Kadi homeworld, she explored all people on the ship for a possible relationship and concluded that there were no potential mates for her aboard this vessel.

"I was just about to bless myself for not having said anything yet, when she added: "We can still copulate, if you wish."

Chakotay blew his wine out through his nose and started coughing and laughing at the same time.

"It's not funny!" Kathryn protested.

"Not funny?" Chakotay almost choked. "This is the funniest story I've heard since we got to the Delta Quadrant. How could you hold it from me for so long, Kathryn?"

Kathryn ignored his question and went on "And I thought her downloading 30,000 Giga quad of information on romance was a good sign."

Chakotay was wiping the wine of his clothes and tried to stop laughing.

"So did you?" he asked.

"Did I what?"

"Copulate."

"Chakotay!" He managed to duck out of the way of the wineglass Kathryn threw at him.

"Anyway", she concluded, "After all that, I started considering all the possible complications of having a romantic involvement with a crewmember and decided to let the whole matter rest."

"Until you met Erin Stedman."

"Exactly."

"How well do you know her?" Chakotay asked. "Did she give any indication about how she would feel about this?"

"I don't know, I feel we have a lot in common. There's a potential friendship there, if nothing else. As for romance, well, I guess I'll just have to take my chances."

"Kathryn, it seems to me your mind is already made up."

"You're my first officer, Chakotay, and a good friend. I want your permission."

"To be honest," Chakotay said, "I didn't know you were interested in women romantically."

"Me neither," Kathryn admitted. "But with the way fate keeps throwing these gorgeous women at me, I don't see that I have much of a choice."

Chakotay smiled warmly at her and said "Go for it, Kathy, if anyone deserves a warm, meaningful relationship, it's you. But if things work out, remember, don't send her on any away missions."

"Point noted." Kathryn laughed.

Kathryn strolled through the hallways of Voyager and had to resist the urge to whistle. She was feeling altogether satisfied with herself.
She had just finished planning her first date with Erin Stedman. It took her a good four hours to shift through all the holo programs until she found a sufficiently romantic setting. She didn't know who had programmed this particular one, but it was just what she had been looking for. It was a little beach house, decorated in style with a romantic round table just inside a bay window with doors that led to the beach.
It was perfect. Kathryn replicated a card with a rose on it and wrote the invitation on it:

"Holodeck II, 19.00 hours tonight."

She thought about adding her name to it, but she didn't want Erin to turn her down, so she left the sender open for guesses.

She arrived at Erin's quarters and was about to slide the card under her door when she realized Erin might not find the card in time and she had better put it somewhere more obtrusive. Or maybe she was just looking for an excuse to break into the girls quarters.

She keyed in the necessary command overrides on the panel next to the door. When the doors slid open, Kathryn felt a moments hesitation about what she was doing and then stepped in.

The room was cluttered with countless colourful nick nacks, pieces of cloth, drawings and stacks of books. Kathryn realized Erin had really made a home for herself and she started feeling very bad about breaking in. She quickly placed the card on the bed and left.

The rest of the day seemed to last forever. Kathryn couldn't believe how nervous she was, she felt like a schoolgirl getting ready for the prom. She finished her shift early and spent two hours changing clothes before deciding on a red velvet dress, that she had bought on a planet a couple of months ago, but that she had never actually worn.

She arrived at the Holodeck a little early, but soon found that Erin had beaten her to the punch. She was standing in the middle of the room, her back turned to the door, facing the dinner table.
Kathryn could not believe her eyes. Erin looked stunning. Her hair was done up, with a couple of curly strands decorating her neck. She was wearing a black dress, tight around her perfect figure. Kathryn caught her breath and walked toward the table.

"Erin, good evening. You look beautiful."

The girl turned to face her and seemed to be in shock. Oh dear, Kathryn cursed herself, she clearly did not expect me here. Perhaps this wasn't such a good plan after all.

"Why don't you sit down. Would you like some wine?"

Erin nodded slowly and sat down. "Thank you, Captain" she said formally.

"Kathryn, please."

"Kathryn."

Smile at her, Katie, say something nice.

"I promised you some Holodeck time and I thought I would take the opportunity to get to know you a little better," she said. "I hope you don't mind."

Erin looked altogether distraught. Kathryn cursed herself for making these assumptions. Then she realized something. She was to blame for Erin's current predicament. Damn it, it was her fault the girl never got to finish the Academy. And she probably hates me for it, Kathryn thought to herself. How could she have been so stupid to hope for a romantic relationship with her?

"Erin, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course"

"Have you ever blamed me for getting lost in the Delta Quadrant?"

There, lay your cards on the table, Katie, and get it over with. It was sweet while it lasted.

"No, I never blamed you for anything. I mean, I can't say I'm happy about being here. I wish I was back on Earth, I wish I could have finished the Academy and get a real job. But I know I couldn't have lived with the knowledge that an entire race might have gotten killed just so we could get home a little faster. I don't think anyone on this ship could. We all know in our hearts you made the right decision."

Kathryn was speechless. Dear god, she had met the perfect woman. Perhaps there was hope after all.

"Thank you, Erin, it means a lot to me to hear you say that. Of all the people on this ship, you seem to be the worst of in this situation. Your opinion in this matter is very important to me."

Kathryn felt herself opening up to this girl as she hadn't done to anyone on this ship before. So many things that had been locked away in her brain for so long were now finding their way outside. Her guilt, her grief, her pain.

Erin was equally forthright, telling Kathryn about her parents, her childhood, her days at the Academy. Time flew by.

When Kathryn told her about Mark, Erin actually started to cry. She handed her a handkerchief and asked if she wanted to go outside for a stroll. Nothing fights tears like a brisk evening walk, as Kathryn herself had found so many times.

Kathryn looked at Erin and contemplated grabbing her hand.

Dare I be so bold?

Hand in hand, they walked out the bay doors onto the deck. Kathryn kicked off her shoes and stepped on the sand. Erin did the same.

Together, they walked along the shore line, without talking. Kathryn was enjoying this very much. A cool breeze played with her hair, an occasional wave hit her feet.

"This is very nice."

Erin smiled. She looked a whole lot more relaxed than earlier.

"Tuvok to the Captain, we need you on the bridge urgently"

Damn.

"On my way."

She turned to face Erin. "I am sorry to have to cut this short. Please feel free to stay as long as you want to, the holodeck has been reserved for the rest of the evening. I will see you later."

Kathryn grabbed her shoes and stomped off the holodeck. If there was some alien race causing problems, they were sure going to pay for it.

"Report!" she snapped when she entered the bridge.

"Long range sensors have picked up a war ship, Captain" Tuvok reported.

"Species 6547. Highly aggressive, but at a low technical level." Seven of Nine added.

"Open a channel, raise shields!" Kathryn was not in the mood to be kind. If these aliens didn't want to negotiate, she would shoot her way passed them.

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager. We mean no harm. We merely want safe passage through your space."

If this was indeed their space.

A lizard like creature appeared on the aft viewscreen. Rather large and rather unattractive, just like most species in this quadrant.

"Capstain Janeway, thiss iss High Commander Ssprewzck. We are in trouble ands require your help."

"Tuvok?" Kathryn turned to face her security officer.

"Their shields are down and their weapon systems are offline. However, there appears to be no damage to their vessel."

"High Commander, what kind of help do you need?"

"Our home planets iss contaminated. Our people have nowhere to go. Pleasse, we needs your help."

"I don't trust this one little bit," Kathryn mumbled.

But she knew she couldn't leave this matter unattended.

"Give us the coordinates of your home planet," she told the High Commander, "we'll see what we can do."

"Lay in a course", she told the ensign at the helm. "Tuvok, alert all senior staff, we'll meet in ten minutes."

"Have we picked up anything on our sensors, mr. Kim?"

"No, ma'am. Unless they're allergic to oxygen, I don't see any problem."

"I believe we are lured to their planet, Captain." Tuvok added.

Seven of Nine cut in "That would be consistent with what the Borg have experienced."

Kathryn pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed deeply. And she had felt so good a mere half hour ago. She gave Tom the order to lay in a course to the coordinates the High Commander had given them. Upon arrival, it appeared that he had been right, the planet was dying. Although things weren't as innocent as they had first seemed. A rather catastrophic nuclear disaster had contaminated the entire planet. It had been their own fault. Voyager had stayed in orbit a couple of days and helped the Ssprewz relocate to a different planet in their system. There was only a couple of thousand of them left and there was no way to tell if they would be able to re-establish what they had once had.

After they had resumed course to the Aplha Quadrant and Kathryn had found herself with some time to think, panic had struck her. Fear of commitment or fear of rejection, be as it may, Kathryn had avoided Erin since their night out. I held my promise, she told herself. She got the promotion and a turn at the holodeck.
Kathryn knew she couldn't just leave it at that, but her fear withheld her from doing anything more. And as time passed she felt like she couldn't face Erin anymore, after having ignored her for so long.

But now she needed some charts from Seven, however, and was afraid she could not avoid Erin any longer. She walked into astrometrics and saw Erin and Seven working side by side. She almost turned around a left again, but Seven had already heard her come in.

"Captain, how may I be of assistance?"

Kathryn tried her best not to look at Erin, but found it very difficult if not impossible to do so. She asked for the charts she needed from Seven and turned around, only to look Erin straight in the face. Before she knew what she was doing, she winked at her. The poor girl turned bright red. Kathryn quickly excused herself and left the room.

She was about to curse herself, but then realized that perhaps the flushing wasn't such a bad sign after all. Maybe she did still stand a chance... At any rate, it was worth exploring.

She checked Erin's off duty time, cancelled her Velocity appointment with Seven and walked over to her quarters.

"Hi Erin, can we talk?"

Erin nodded.

"I'm sorry I have been neglecting you lately, but I have some holodeck time tonight and I was wondering if you would like to join me."

"Yes, of course," she answered. "I just need to get changed into something more appropriate than my uniform. I'll be right back."

Kathryn watched Erin heading for the bedroom and was once again reminded of her attraction to this woman. She sighed and averted her gaze. Then she noticed a drawing on Erin's desk of, well, herself.

"Hey, what's this?" she said as she walked over to the desk.

"It's a drawing I made for you, Captain."

"Kathryn!"

"Kathryn. To thank you for the lovely evening at the holodeck and my promotion to astrometrics."

Kathryn's face lit up. It was a beautiful drawing and seemed to be made with a lot of care and devotion.

"Thank you, that is so ... I think this is one of the most personal gifts I have ever gotten. I really appreciate it, Erin."

"And I really appreciate you, Kathryn."

Ok, this was looking entirely good. Kathryn started to feel a whole lot better about the situation.

Once at the holodeck, Kathryn activated a program that she had written a couple of months after they had gotten lost in the Delta Quadrant. It was a replication of her living room on Earth, in Indiana. Kathryn felt safe here, at home, relaxed enough to be herself.

And Erin actually ate the food she cooked, without complaining.

Kathryn had to fight to keep herself in check. Part of her just wanted to grab Erin and have her right there, right now. She managed to get through the evening keeping her bodily desires at bay. She stole a glance here and there, a pat, a hug. Every touch was exciting her and hours later, when Kathryn lay in bed, she found it impossible to sleep. Her mind was filled with Erin, her bright smile, her gorgeous blond hair.

She got up and pulled on a robe. What am I doing? she asked herself, but she knew in her heart that it was somehow the right thing. She walked over to Erin's quarters and was not surprised to find her awake, as well.

"I can't sleep," she stated. "Is it okay if I stay here for a while?"

Erin nodded and Kathryn lay herself down on the bed. She grabbed Erin's hand and looked at her. There were so many things she wanted to say, but she didn't know where to start. Then she fell asleep, without ever saying anything.

It took Kathryn a couple of days to free up some holodeck time for herself and Erin. She wished there was something available sooner, but Kathryn still wasn't sure if she and Erin were on the same track and she didn't want to screw things up by imposing herself too much on Erin.

She asked Erin if she wanted to pick a holo program, this time.

"Okay," Erin answered. "Kathryn, can I ask you something?"

Kathryn nodded affirmatively.

"Are we dating?"

"I hope so." Kathryn answered.

Judging from the way Erin's face lit up, Kathryn knew that she gave her the right answer.

Two days later, on their next 'date', Erin showed up with a giant bouquet of tulips in her arms. Kathryn was breathless, she couldn't remember anyone ever giving her flowers, let alone such a big bouquet. She must have used up all her replicator rations for these, Kathryn had replenished them for her after she noticed she had used them all up for a dress, the other evening. This wasn't entirely in sync with ship's protocol, but Kathryn didn't care, especially not now that she saw the flowers. She walked to the holodeck with Erin in a total haze. She couldn't believe how madly she was in love with the girl and she sure didn't believe her lucky stars when Erin took her to Paris.

Well, not the real Paris of course, but a recreation she had made on the holodeck. Kathryn was dumbfounded. How had she managed to program all this in two days? The girl was obviously brilliant as well. She only had one flaw, really, she didn't like coffee.

"We must go and have coffee in the real Paris as soon as we get back to Earth." She said to Erin.

"Can I have tea instead?" Erin grinned.

"You can have anything you please," Kathryn answered with a smile, "As long as you promise to not visit Paris with anyone but me."

"I promise." She said.

Kathryn didn't remember much of the rest of the evening. She had been so mesmerized by Erin's appearance that she barely noticed the rest of the world around her. After their date, she had kissed Erin carefully on the cheek. It left her lips trembling for more, but knew she shouldn't rush this.
She asked Erin over for dinner the next day, and couldn't imagine having to spend the next 24 hours without her.

Erin told her she'd be there 'with bells on' which Kathryn didn't fully comprehend until she showed up the next day wearing nothing but underwear and bells.

Kathryn's face was a combination of shock, amusement and bewilderment. The amusement prevailed and she burst out in laughter. Erin grinned mischievously. She had brought a dress as well and went into the ensuite to put it on, even though Kathryn would not have minded if she hadn't.

After dinner Kathryn and Erin sat and looked at the stars. Kathryn looked at Erin and felt herself overwhelmed with emotions. Before she knew what she was doing she realized she was crying. Erin wiped a tear from her cheek. Kathryn looked in her eyes and realized words were no longer necessary. She relaxed into Erin's embrace as their lips found each other. After they broke off the kiss, Erin whispered "Kathryn, my Kathryn, I love you so much,"

"I love you too, sweetheart" Kathryn answered. "I loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. I didn't want to rush, I wanted to make perfectly sure that you, that this could... I wanted this moment to be absolutely perfect."

"It is perfect, Kathryn", Erin said "I couldn't wish for anything more perfect than this."

Kathryn smiled and led Erin to her bedroom.

"Commander, I need to thank you." Kathryn said, leaning over the console in between his chair and hers.

"I noticed you were considerably more cheerful this morning," Chakotay grinned. "Got lucky?"

"Luck had nothing to do with it, Chakotay." Kathryn retorted.

"Pardon me," Chakotay chuckled, "so why thank me?"

"For making me do the crew manifests, of course."

"Of course." Chakotay said. He looked at Kathryn's glowing face and realized he had never seen her like this before. Happy, peaceful, at ease with her herself. It didn't take him long to figure out she had found true love and he could not be happier for her. Maybe he, himself, should take a look at the crew manifests as well...